The Happiness Project: Conclusion

Putting my dream plan for work and life into ink and actual concrete thoughts might have actually lowered my happiness score! I think I was ignorantly enjoying my life with what I’ve been given. Now that I’ve contemplated my dream life, I wish I had that $10 million dollars or the carefree mentality to just quit my job and start living my dream. Alas, my desire for stability is stronger than my desire for the dream.

One thing I’ve noticed in doing this assignment is how much I love to travel and experience new things, and how high those are on my list of things to do. And I think that is telling me just how much I need to move out of Utah next year. I’ve been here since 1998 when I came to BYU for my undergraduate degree – that’s 14 years! Maybe my Mr. Right got out of Utah ages ago because he’s similar to me in that need to experience new places. Heaven knows I’ve dated a lot of Mr. Wrong’s that are still here in Utah too. If I want a Mr. Right to have all these characteristics that I hope to have, I need to take action and live those characteristics now until I become them and it seems like getting out of Utah will be my first step for that. It also seems like it will be my first step in living something close to my dream but I can still do it with stability – by landing a job first before I move, if that is possible. (Hopefully a master’s degree and ten years of work experience will help with that.) Don’t get me wrong. I love Utah. Really, I do. I have enjoyed living here, and I feel like I have taken advantage of all the good things the state has to offer.

In the end, I learned from this assignment that if you want to make dreams and goals a reality, you really do have to write them down. I’ve only ever thought of these things in passing. Putting them down on paper opens my eyes to the difference of how I’m actually living my life from my dream and what the cause is. It makes me contemplate how I might learn to live with the non-dream life or how I might need to temper my desire for stability so that I can act on my dream, at least a little bit.

The Happiness Project: The $10 Million Dollar Question

If money was not an issue, what kind of job would I have? I’ve had to think about this one a lot since I’ve never considered this even as a possibility. I’d probably continue working in my current position at BYU’s Human Resource Development office for a little while longer – just until I felt like I was at a point where someone else could transition in easily.

After that, I’d love to try my hand at little part-time community jobs for a while – like working at the library, the art museum, a local Red Cross, an outdoor guiding company, or even the Forest Service. I love the idea of having a little care- and worry-free job that makes a direct impact on the people I serve. The rest of the time (since those jobs would only be part-time), I’d play like crazy until I got sick of it. I’d ride my bikes a lot, go backpacking and hiking, learn to canyoneer so I could take some friends that didn’t know how. I’d take road trips all over the U.S. to see all the places that I’ve been wanting to see – like the Appalachian Trail, Vermont, New Hampshire, Maine, Nantucket, Louisiana, Mount Rushmore, Vail, Aspen, Montana, the Oregon Coast, Williamsburg, New York City, and South Carolina.

Then after I got sick of all that free time (I actually handle my life much better when I’m on a routine), I’d work for a non-profit that took humanitarian trips all over the world. I’d love to help plan the trips and then go on them myself to provide the humanitarian aid to the people. After a while, I’m guessing I’d probably get sick of travelling all the time, so I’d quit that job and then take up a job at a local non-profit that helped only local people – because they need help as much as anyone else in the world.

This plan is definitely different from my actual career plan. My actual career plan needs me to assume progressively more responsible positions (at least to a certain point) so I can continue to provide for myself and save for retirement. My current career plan involves upward movement progression, while my dream career plan would provide a broad and varied progression for me such that I would learn many different things. My current plan doesn’t provide a whole lot of time to do all the stuff on my bucket list, which I suppose isn’t such a bad thing since I fear I’d get sick of doing all my playing if it was concentrated into a shorter time period like in my dream plan. But who knows if my health and future family might limit how much of my bucket list I can do later in life?

Besides the lack of a $10 million trust fund, the main thing I think is preventing me from doing my dream is that is seems impossible to change fields of employment at will like that. Most employers have their pick of job applicants right now and they prefer someone who has experience in that field. The other big thing that is preventing me from pursuing this dream is my desire for stability. My dream seems like a nightmare to my desire for stability. I feel safe and secure with a stable job, while job-hopping and traveling in between jobs without the comfort of $10 million dollars scares me to death. I don’t know how I’d make it work financially.

If I my dream career plan doesn’t happen? What will happen to me? I think I’ll still achieve my best possible self. I wonder if I could actually be successful in achieving my best possible self on my dream plan. Moving around all of the time like that and traveling so much probably wouldn’t be good for a family, a garden and yard, or for my hopes of being involved in my community – accept that my dream jobs would eventually have me dedicated to my community through service. My dream plan would be awesome for my goals of researching family history since I could travel to places in my family’s history. And it would be perfectly aligned with my goal of traveling or living in many locations. So those two things will probably take a smaller role in my current career plan, but they won’t be impossible to accomplish.

I’m fairly passionate about my current career track: human resources at BYU. BYU is the epitome of my ideal organization. I have opportunities for growth and progression and I feel like what I do makes a difference for the organization and the students we serve. Although, I have to say I’m feeling an itch (maybe a prompting?) to move elsewhere and try my hand at something entirely new, and yet it scares me a great deal that I won’t find another organization like BYU – that I’ll have to make some compromise and that I won’t love it as much as I love BYU. But I think I’d be much more passionate about my work, if I had the freedom of $10 million dollars, since I could pursue my dream plan for work and life. 

The Happiness Project: My Job

I would love to work for an organization that is stable, provides value-adding services to the community, and is forward thinking. What I mean by stable is that the organization has been historically well managed and has plans to continue managing its functions, personnel, and services just as well into the future. Education, charitable services, and governmental services are examples of what I consider to be value-adding services. I really admire an organization that is continually innovating everything they do – from making a process more efficient to providing new services at the time the community needs them.

I chose these three adjectives because I value stability highly. It tells me the organization will be in business for a long time and will be able to help people for a long time. Value-adding services, in my opinion, never go out of style and there seems to always be a demand for their services unlike the cutthroat competition among some private/product industries, which hold no appeal to me. Because I have the interest and take the time to continually learn new skills, I hope the organization I work for also values that innovative mindset. It also increases the odds that the organization will survive an ever-changing world.

Integrity, respect for everyone, obedience to policies and regulations, and a wholesome work environment are the main defining values I’d look for in an organization. I don’t think I could work for a company that permitted dishonesty, disrespect, disobedience or inappropriate behavior. I strive very conscientiously to keep these values myself and would feel like a fish out of water if I worked for an organization that didn’t also strive for these values.

I hope to have challenges that make me grow – such as new positions that I’ve never done before or have any experience with. I hope I have the opportunity to move around and up with time. I think these types of challenges and opportunities will help me fulfill my need for professional progression and fulfillment. Although, I don’t necessarily want the opportunity to go into an executive-type position. I prefer, at this point in my life, to stay closer to where the rubber hits the road and work with the clients or customers so I can see the direct impact that our organization’s services have on their lives.

The Happiness Project: My Best Possible Self

When I envision my best possible self, I see myself raising a family unto the Lord, serving a mission with my husband, continuing to learn new skills, being a good neighbor and citizen, publishing more family history books, and traveling or living in many locations.

Raising a family unto the Lord is a tricky goal of mine since getting married, I’ve decided, is pretty much a miracle that only the Lord can produce. But there are a few things I can do to help the Lord out – like going to social events to meet new people, living my life in such a way to have the Holy Ghost guide me, not freaking out when the opportunity arises, and realizing that everyone is human and no one is going to meet the full ideal mate checklist. As for raising a family, I am just going to follow the prophets’ counsels for Family Home Evening, family scripture study, family prayer, setting an example for my kids by being the best disciple of Christ that I can be, and praying … a lot. But I need to get married first, so I need to be wise in my selection because whom I marry will determine how much help I get in raising our family.

I didn’t serve a mission when I was younger, so I really hope to serve at least one mission with my husband when we retire. I imagine we’ll need to be wise with our financial resources so that we can pick up and go as soon as the kids are out of the house. (I’m not a spring chicken anymore – I’ll be old when my kids are out of the house so we’ll have to go right away.) I’ll also have to keep my testimony strong and growing so I can feel spiritually ready to go. I’m sure that entails the primary answers of going to church, reading my scriptures, praying, serving in my callings, etc. I imagine I’ll also need to keep my health in as top shape as possible so I’ll continue to exercise and eat healthy throughout my life.

I hope I will have continued to learn new things throughout my life. It has served me well up to this point. I hope to someday learn to garden and can/preserve what I grow in my garden. I also want to learn how to take care of a yard and do some landscaping. I’ve heard that Utah State’s Extension classes on gardening and yard care are phenomenal for learning skills. Having a family and the need to cook many meals a week, will surely force me to learn how to plan meals and how to coupon – both skills that I’d love to learn. Right now I only plan to cook one or two meals per week and that usually feeds me all week, so cooking for the masses and trying to coupon is not necessary. I’d also love to learn how to identify wild edible plants, berries, and mushrooms. Pursing these opportunities for learning, and others, will help prevent me from becoming stale.

Being a good neighbor and citizen might include participating more in community events, volunteering for community groups, getting to know my neighbors and developing a friendship with them. I do a little of this now, but I think I could do more throughout my life. When I graduate from the EMPA program, I’d love to find a community group to volunteer for so I could feel like I’m contributing and making a difference.

When I’m at the end of my life, I hope that I will have researched as much about my family history as I possibly could. I’m working on that now by interviewing my mom and dad and researching my ancestors’ lives. I’ve published a family photo album, but I hope to put together a family history book about my parents and a couple generations beyond them. I came along so late in my family that I’m afraid they may pass away before my kids really grow to know them and love them. So I think publishing a family history book about them will help my kids and other progenitors to come to know them.

Lastly, I would love to either travel or live in several locations – internationally or domestically. I have done some traveling to Mexico, the Caribbean, and Europe and I really feel like it has opened my eyes and understanding (at least to a certain extent) to have a respect for people and appreciate my good life in the United States. If I could, I would hope to live in many places because living somewhere deepens that respect and appreciation so much more than just being a tourist there.

In the end, I think doing each of these things will help me to become the best possible self I envision for myself. However, I imagine the Lord may have a different vision of my best possible self, so I plan to live near to the Spirit so I may be led to do the things He would have me do and become.

The Happiness Project: Personal Happiness

What makes me happy is when I feel fulfilled on three levels: personal, social, and professional. Personal fulfillment is the most important, while social comes second and professional third. If I’m not personally fulfilled, then I feel stressed on all levels and in every area of my life. As long as I’m feeling fulfilled on my personal level, then social and professional fulfillment can be lackluster and I’ll still feel okay. I attain personal fulfillment, and therefore happiness, when I’m doing a number of things such as keeping my religious commitments, accomplishing items on my to-do list, eating right and exercising, and finding substantial ways to progress.

Reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, attending the temple, going to my church meetings, and being a good visiting teacher and neighbor are top on my list of religious commitments to keep. If I’m not doing those things, then I’m beating myself up. But if I am doing those things, I feel like I’m being a productive citizen in the Lord’s kingdom.

I also have a forever long and never ending to-do list that includes items from unloading the dishwasher to making a quilt to replacing the batteries in my smoke detectors to transcribing recorded interviews with my mom. (Just by my examples you can see how it never ends since I put recurring tasks on it.) I have this innate need to accomplish something every day. If I don’t, I feel extremely lazy and unproductive. I rarely watch a movie without also crocheting or balancing my budget at the same time.

When it comes to eating right and exercising . . . there’s just something about those endorphins that help to improve my overall mood. Again, when I exercise, I feel like I’m being productive and proactive in maintaining my health. I feel just the opposite when I don’t exercise. When it comes to healthy eating, I’ve joked with my coworkers for years that if I have to buy lunch it’s because I’ve been lazy about making healthy dinners since whenever I make dinner I always make enough to have leftovers to bring to work.

And lastly, I find personal fulfillment when I find ways to progress substantially. Since I am single and without kids at 32, I feel like I’ve been stunted in my growth. It seems like getting married and raising kids forces many opportunities for progression upon a person. So without that, I’ve struggled to feel like I’m improving myself. For many years, I took up new hobbies. But in the last couple years, I’ve craved progression of more lasting value, so I bought a condo and came back to school. Now graduation is staring me down and I’m wondering what my next big progression move is going to be – possibly a move out-of-state? I don’t know. But that is an itch that I have to relieve in order to keep my personal fulfillment side of my happiness at a healthy level.

Social fulfillment plays a smaller role in my overall happiness, but it is still important. My social fulfillment needs time spent with friends and time alone to rekindle the fire. Several years ago, I took the Meyers-Briggs test and found that I don’t have a strong preference for being an extrovert or an introvert – I can go either way. So I find that I need time to spend with my friends or else I’ll go stir-crazy. But I also need my alone time to rekindle the fire or else I’ll go the other kind of crazy.

Lastly, professional fulfillment comes to me when I feel like I learn new things, have good working relationships with my co-workers, and make some progressive moves within appropriate amounts of time. When I was asked to move to my current position three years ago, I really struggled to find my fit in this position, as the university’s Online Training Consultant. I had a steep learning curve for about a year and continually thought I’d request to move back to my old role if and when the hiring freeze lifted. But when it finally lifted, I chose to stay in my current position because I had settled in and felt more comfortable. And now, I really feel settled into it since I’m not just keeping the function afloat – I’m making some substantial contributions such as implementing a new learning management system (not Learning Suite J, my LMS is for employee training) and developing an employee certification program.

The Oxford Happiness Questionnaire 

I scored a 5.2 on the questionnaire. I wasn’t really surprised because I am quite happy with my life, and many people tell me I’m a happy and optimistic person. I know I’m not perfectly happy since there are still many things I’d like to do in this life – chiefly get married to a man I consider my best friend and match, and have a family with him. While I am aware that marriage and family alone are not guarantees for happiness, that grass certainly looks greener since it is the plan Heavenly Father intended for us. He wouldn’t have planned that for us if it wasn’t the best way to do life, right? 

The Happiness Project: A Blog Series

In 2012, for one of my EMPA classes, I had to write a paper titled "The Happiness Project" where I analyzed my happiness in various areas: personal, my best possible self, my job, and if I had all the money in the world. Recently, the idea occurred to me that I should post that here for posterity's sake. There are some real gems in there. Ha ha! So enjoy the series over the next four days . . . if you happen to read them.

3:33 Minute Video of My Trip to China

One of my very talented classmates that I went to China with, Dani, created this video of our trip to China. Kind of a fun little flash back of a really amazing trip.