Monday, November 25, 2013

The Happiness Project: Personal Happiness

What makes me happy is when I feel fulfilled on three levels: personal, social, and professional. Personal fulfillment is the most important, while social comes second and professional third. If I’m not personally fulfilled, then I feel stressed on all levels and in every area of my life. As long as I’m feeling fulfilled on my personal level, then social and professional fulfillment can be lackluster and I’ll still feel okay. I attain personal fulfillment, and therefore happiness, when I’m doing a number of things such as keeping my religious commitments, accomplishing items on my to-do list, eating right and exercising, and finding substantial ways to progress.

Reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, attending the temple, going to my church meetings, and being a good visiting teacher and neighbor are top on my list of religious commitments to keep. If I’m not doing those things, then I’m beating myself up. But if I am doing those things, I feel like I’m being a productive citizen in the Lord’s kingdom.

I also have a forever long and never ending to-do list that includes items from unloading the dishwasher to making a quilt to replacing the batteries in my smoke detectors to transcribing recorded interviews with my mom. (Just by my examples you can see how it never ends since I put recurring tasks on it.) I have this innate need to accomplish something every day. If I don’t, I feel extremely lazy and unproductive. I rarely watch a movie without also crocheting or balancing my budget at the same time.

When it comes to eating right and exercising . . . there’s just something about those endorphins that help to improve my overall mood. Again, when I exercise, I feel like I’m being productive and proactive in maintaining my health. I feel just the opposite when I don’t exercise. When it comes to healthy eating, I’ve joked with my coworkers for years that if I have to buy lunch it’s because I’ve been lazy about making healthy dinners since whenever I make dinner I always make enough to have leftovers to bring to work.

And lastly, I find personal fulfillment when I find ways to progress substantially. Since I am single and without kids at 32, I feel like I’ve been stunted in my growth. It seems like getting married and raising kids forces many opportunities for progression upon a person. So without that, I’ve struggled to feel like I’m improving myself. For many years, I took up new hobbies. But in the last couple years, I’ve craved progression of more lasting value, so I bought a condo and came back to school. Now graduation is staring me down and I’m wondering what my next big progression move is going to be – possibly a move out-of-state? I don’t know. But that is an itch that I have to relieve in order to keep my personal fulfillment side of my happiness at a healthy level.

Social fulfillment plays a smaller role in my overall happiness, but it is still important. My social fulfillment needs time spent with friends and time alone to rekindle the fire. Several years ago, I took the Meyers-Briggs test and found that I don’t have a strong preference for being an extrovert or an introvert – I can go either way. So I find that I need time to spend with my friends or else I’ll go stir-crazy. But I also need my alone time to rekindle the fire or else I’ll go the other kind of crazy.

Lastly, professional fulfillment comes to me when I feel like I learn new things, have good working relationships with my co-workers, and make some progressive moves within appropriate amounts of time. When I was asked to move to my current position three years ago, I really struggled to find my fit in this position, as the university’s Online Training Consultant. I had a steep learning curve for about a year and continually thought I’d request to move back to my old role if and when the hiring freeze lifted. But when it finally lifted, I chose to stay in my current position because I had settled in and felt more comfortable. And now, I really feel settled into it since I’m not just keeping the function afloat – I’m making some substantial contributions such as implementing a new learning management system (not Learning Suite J, my LMS is for employee training) and developing an employee certification program.

The Oxford Happiness Questionnaire 

I scored a 5.2 on the questionnaire. I wasn’t really surprised because I am quite happy with my life, and many people tell me I’m a happy and optimistic person. I know I’m not perfectly happy since there are still many things I’d like to do in this life – chiefly get married to a man I consider my best friend and match, and have a family with him. While I am aware that marriage and family alone are not guarantees for happiness, that grass certainly looks greener since it is the plan Heavenly Father intended for us. He wouldn’t have planned that for us if it wasn’t the best way to do life, right? 

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