Rarely, does The Daily Universe receive as many letters in response to one letter to the editor as it did to, "Message for sisters," which was printed December 12. These letters are a small sampling of the responses.
So here is the letter that started it all:
Message for sisters
If I were a Relief Society president I would teach the sisters that:
1) BYU guys don't have to be dancers to be marriageable. Do I really have to watch "Step Up" with you?
2) RMs are not creepy. They're just awkward. Wouldn't you be if you hadn't dated in two years?
3) Bug-eyed sunglasses and furry boots are not attractive.
4) Taping "Will Open for Dates Only" signs on your door will not get you more dates.
5) Don't ask guys to watch musicals with you. We watch "Terminator" and "Die Hard," not "Newsies" and "Wicked."
6) Guys go to football games to watch football, not to chat. If you don't understand the rules, don't ask.
7) Synthetic diamonds are just as good as, and a lot cheaper than, "real" diamonds. Do you want to live in a cardboard box for five years after your wedding?
8) Marriage is not a major.
9) You can ask guys on dates. They won't be offended.
10) Sisters, you're special.
Matt Richardson: Springfield, Ore.
And now here are my favorite responses. I seriously laughed all day at work. Note that some responses were written by guys and girls alike!
As long as men are allowed to use the Readers Forum to steady the ark of our dear Relief Society councils, allow me to put in my two cents. I hope this becomes a new series: "If I were Relief Society President. I'd teach the sisters:"
1) BYU guys make great dancers. You should marry one of us. We want you to.
2) RMs really are not creepy. Asking you on a second date doesn't mean we've fabricated personal revelation telling ourselves that you're our soul mate.
3) Bug-eyed sunglasses are cute indoors. Uggs too.
4) Posting "Will open for dates only" on your door is doing just what an apostle told you to, which is uber-attractive to the guys who are worth dating.
5) We love to watch musicals with you. Your interests are our interests. We're hard up for culture and thank you for bearing with us through the football games.
6) If we suggest watching "Terminator" or "Die Hard" toether, we are asking you to break up with us. That's the only way to get the inspiration to write great songs for our band.
7) Expect a diamond. It's not the diamond that matters, but the exra hours we worked to get it for you. It's the earning, not the the giving, that says "I love you."
8) If BYU says that marriage is a major, then a major it is.
9) Don't call us, we'll call you. But please do answer.
10) Sisters, we love you.
Josh Guest: Klamath Falls, Oregon
If I were an Elder's Quorum president I would teach the brethren that,
1) "Step Up" is not just about the dancing. It's about the message that anyone can change for the better.
2) The sisters understand that RMs haven't dated for two years, but telling them that they could be the ONE on the second or third date is just plain creepy.
3) "Accidentally" lapsing into your mission tongue is not that impressive.
4) If you would ask more girls on dates, there would be fewer signs taped on doors.
5) There are a lot of girls that like action movies, but they like to branch out a little too. If you want them to watch action movies with you, you should watch musicals with them.
6) Most girls go to football games to hang out with guys they like. They don't really care about the game.
7) Real diamonds retain their value, just like the real men that buy them.
8) Most girls don't come to BYU for an MRS. degree, but all the RMs raise the number that get one.
9) Guys should make the first move, it's more impressive.
10) Brethren, be bold!
Shiloh White: Grand Junction, Colorado
If I were an Elder's Quorum president I would teach the elders that:
1) Guys could learn a few more dance moves. Take a hint from "Hitch" and keep it at home base.
2) RMs are a bit awkward. Slow down those first few months and all of society will benefit.
3) Tight jeans and that free t-shirt you won in high school aren't attractive.
4) What? Did you miss the fireside by Dallin H. Oaks?
5) We watch man movies, you can handle a couple chick flicks. Most guys are closet chick flick lovers anyway.
6) Sorry to ask questions at football games. We're just trying to make you feel smart.
7) Why stop at cubic zirconium? Just get her a ring pop, and she can get a different color every week.
8) You're right. Marriage isn't a major. It's more than that.
9) You can ask girls on dates. They won't get offended.
10) Brothers, you're special too.
Mary Bennion: Salt Lake City, Utah
Diane Stewart: Spanish Fork, Utah
The purpose of this letter is to defend the women that the author of "Message for sisters' so idiotically addressed in his letter.
Think. If the world were unfortunate enough to have you as a Relief Society president, you would be on the receive ending of your chauvinistic "message." Reading between the lines, it seems as though you are in need of a date of your own. Given you're bearable enough to deserve such an honor, here are some thoughts from another man's perspective:
1) Yes, you really do have to watch "Step Up" with her. Get over it.
2) You are right: We (RMs) are awkward. Creepy awkward.
3) Bug-eyed sunglasses and furry boots are most definitely attractive.
4) Those girls took down that sign. It now reads, "Forget it."
5) I own a musical, thank you very much.
6) Understand that any girl that goes to a football game is worth your time. She's asking about the rules to show interest in you. Genius.
7) As for your eloquent diamond discourse: Do you know anything about women?
8) If marriage were major, you'd never make it past the first prerequisite: Brains.
9) Ok, fine. Ten percent of your list was true. But you killed the 3 percent chance of actually having a girl ask you out by writing your letter.
10) The words, "You're special," will never, ever get you forgiven. Try apologizing for being stupid. Or flowers. Or both.
Calvin Olsen: Meridian, Idaho
2 comments:
Awesome. Here's my response...
1) What's "Step Up"?
2) Some RMs are creepy. Some are awkward. Some are both. Some are neither. (In a related note, some RMs are women, which seems to have escaped the original writer.)
3) Sure, some women look good like this, but why would anyone want to take their cues from Paris Hilton et al.?
4) Elder Oaks was right.
5) Musicals do mostly suck. But if you want me to check one out, I'll give it a try.
6) Not all guys are obsessed with football. But if you're dating one who is, get used to being ignored during games. Or find a guy who likes talking to you better than watching sports. We do exist.
7) Diamonds are overpriced, and engagement rings are a confidence trick invented by DeBeers. But I expect to buy one anyway.
8) If communications can be major, why not MFHD?
9) It's true. If you want to go out more, ask guys out. Most of the time, this will end in rejection of one form or another. Rough, I know. But it's the same for us. That's just life. So if you're tired of waiting for a boy to call you, get out there and roll with the punches.
10) Anyone who says "Sisters, you're special," needs a punch in the mouth.
Thanks for the great post. I started writing some comments, but it got so long I had to make a blog post of my own. Long story short: Girls who want more dates should ask boys out.
Oy, I should have just said that in the first place.
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