A Little Heart to Heart

Okay... more like a heart to a decently-wide audience reading this entry on the internet .... so ... for nearly all to see! No pressure. Two things:

#1
I cried at work today. It was pitiful. And not nearly as dramatic as the first sentence makes it out to be... I just do that for effect. To keep you reading - you know! This week our wellness program at work is conducting what they call triple screenings - they take blood (from those that want to participate) to check the levels of triglycerides, cholesterol and glucose. This is just for our information - they don't use it to fire us or anything... of course! This is BYU after all. But we can submit it to our benefits company and do the wellness program's health challenges and then get a $200 check at the beginning of the new year! Yay! That is the main reason why I do it... other than I'm obsessed with knowing what my cholesterol levels are... since high cholesterol runs in my family... on both sides! Aah! Anyways. I had to fast 12 hours for it and then I went to the big conference room where they were set up. First there was a 25 minute wait. I chatted with the guy just in front of me in line and he said, just conversationally, "Luckily, we haven't seen anyone crying yet." Ha! Well, maybe I doomed myself, but I thought to myself... "Speak for yourself." Because I do not always have good experiences with these screenings. Maybe it all stems from my freshman year when I naively signed up to give blood and nearly fainted doing so after 3 different nurses took turns digging in my arms for a vein. Just about nearly the same thing happens every time I go in for these triple screenings.

So I was debating for the whole 25 minutes whether or not I should tell the nurse ahead of time about my super small veins and freak her out so she's doomed from the beginning ... or let her give it a go in all confidence. Other times, I've told the nurse ahead of time and she/he will try one arm but then call for an expert before sticking me again. So this time, I decided to let her do it in confidence and not tell her. Well, she started with the regular needle. No success with that needle in that arm. Then she went and got a small butterfly needle (whatever that means) and tried my other arm. The longer she kept that butterfly needle in there and the more I could tell it was not going to be successful the more light-headed I got! And then I began to get frustrated... and we all know what happens when I get frustrated. I CRY!!! Which then begins the vicious cycle of making me frustrated because I think I'm a weenie for crying and that only stokes the crying fire. Good grief.

At that point the original nurse says she's going to go look for some one with more experience. That makes me feel better but not by much since they're going to stick me again. But this more experienced person is very calming and VERY good at drawing my blood. She got it on the first try. And she brought me juice. And she told me that next time, I can come directly to the health center for a more private location rather than in this conference room where I had to get myself pulled together before walking past all my colleagues with red, puffy, cry-baby eyes! Ugh.

So there's my first heart to heart story.

#2
I feel like I've plateaued and therefore I am restless for some big change in my life and that has been for two years now. I'm craving some big life change in some fashion. There seem to be three things that have been taking turns being my obsession of the moment....

• Move to Seattle
• Buy a place
• Get my MBA

Seriously! All three have cycled through numerous times being the focus of my attention. There was a fourth there for a short while, but that one has fizzled out. Anyways.

Last fall, I was going nuts thinking I could apply for the MBA program for this fall so I wanted to hurry and enroll myself in a GMAT prep course and get my application in.... but then that seemed far-fetched and fizzled.

Then I visited my friend, Mike, in Seattle at the end of January of this year - with the intent of talking to an HR person at his work, Microsoft. Try some skiing there to see just how different it is from Utah's. Look for some neighborhoods that I could live in. Etc. I got really excited after I talked to the HR person at Microsoft because it seems like their HR Business Partner job is perfectly what I want! But they were in a hiring freeze right then. And I've cold applied to a couple jobs in the Seattle area, but I know cold applying is the worst possible way to find a job. I'd have to go up there for a week or more and actually hit the pavement. But for some reason... I've been dragging my feet to actually do that. And with the economy the way it is right now... I've kind of lost hope for finding a good job up there... one that would be worth leaving BYU for.... So that one has fizzled too.

And now... I'm obsessed with buying a place here in Utah. And especially since the $8,000 credit from the government for first-time home buyers is good through the end of November. $8,000!! I could do that! I've been shopping a little on the internet and I even met with a mortgage officer at my credit union today. And now I have to admit... I'm a little discouraged - discouraged at how little I feel like I can afford. I really, repeat REALLY, want to try living on my own. I'd really like to decorate my place the way I want to, keep it clean the way I want to and organize my kitchen the way I want to! I have been living with roommates for 11 years now. And so... I need to be able to afford the mortgage, taxes, various interests, HOA fees and utilities by myself... and still keep some semblance of my lifestyle. I DO NOT want to be house poor. I might end up getting a roommate... but I don't want to always have to have one just to make my payments. That would be bad news.

I also feel like I need either a garage (which would be my first preference since I've really grown accustomed to my current garage parking privilege) or else an unfinished basement - to store all of my stuff!! I mean - I have 2 bikes, 3 pair of skis, 2 sleeping bags, several backpacks, and various other outdoor equipment.... not to mention all my baby stuff that my mom sent home with me when she moved into a smaller place and didn't have room to store them for me. So.... for now.... I guess I'm pursuing buying a place... and then maybe I'll look at the executive MBA or MPA program that BYU offers ... since after all, being a full-time employee I get a pretty sweet tuition benefit for myself (and any spouse! Wanna free graduate degree? Give me a call.) where I could get my masters for free or else for a deep, deep discounted cost in the case of the eMBA.

So... I guess I'll see how long this latest obsession lasts. It seems like the stars have aligned for it to really work:

• Low interest rates
• Low prices
• I'm ready to quit the singles ward scene and attend a family ward which really opens up the possibility for a bunch of locations
• My desire to have my own place
• And my freedom from all other distractions right now

Am I crazy? I sure think so. And I'm sure my sister, Jill, thinks so... she gets the brunt of my obsessions and tries diligently to talk some sense into me but not dash my hopes and dreams. I just feel like I bend every which way the wind blows and can't make up my mind which I want to actually pursue. And a major problem with all of it... all three options take money... and a hefty chunk of it.... but who can't stop living the high life? Yeah ... me. It just seems so far in the future to save for and I see this nice little collection of savings and then I see some new fan-dangled outdoor equipment I want.... or an awesome airfare to Europe and I'm so EASILY side-tracked. Ugh. Double ugh.

How does one focus? How does one decide what one wants to do? How does one be disciplined?

Okay. I'm done. This post is already so long... and without pictures! Sorry. Wasn't about to take any pics of me crying at work and no pictures for the other one too.

Fall Blog Design

Last night I finished my Fall blog design. I like it! I think Ashlee, my designer friend, had created a new monster out of me... one that wants to change her blog mast every few months! :)

Labor Day Weekend

For Labor Day some friends and I drove down to the Escalante area of Utah - down to Grand Staircase and backpacked into Coyote Gulch. Lindsey had tried to go down there earlier in the summer over Memorial Day weekend, but there had been so much rain the week leading up to the weekend that the river was swollen and completely impassable - and you spend much of your time hiking through the river. Coyote Gulch is the canyon that the Escalante River winds through and this time around the river was practically only a trickle. We hiked in 5 miles to Jacob Hamblin Arch. It literally took us all day to hike in since we kept coming up on really cool stuff - like waterfalls and towering canyon walls and even an outhouse caused us to stop and enjoy it's convenience!

We originally set up camp on a sandy beach just a couple feet above the riverbed. But later than evening a pretty good thunderstorm rolled in and dumped on us. We were kind of under a outcropping so we all jumped back under it so didn't have to get into our tents, but even then that outcropping didn't provide much protection since the water began to run down the wall. After the storm let up, the river started getting louder so I went over there and watched the river rise by about a foot. I started getting really nervous about flooding since Coyote Gulch is known for it's flash floods. But we tried to go to bed anyways. But just as I was getting in my sleeping bag, the river began to get even louder, so Lindsey and I went out and watched the river rise another foot - which brought it within a foot of our sandy beach. Both times the river rose, it only took a couple minutes and on the second time were were seeing debris floating down in the river. So that's when we decided to move camp to higher ground. In the morning we found out that the water stopped rising after that, but you know what....? I slept better because of it and better safe than sorry.

So we hiked out 6 miles, ate a yummy sandwich lunch at the cars and then drove the 40-mile dirt road back out to Escalante. We did have a couple exciting mud-spots in the dirt road though. That storm the night before sent little rivers over the low parts of the road and created some fairly long mud holes to drive through. Thankfully we had 4WD. Oh! And one other side note - as we hiked out we saw a construction cone in the riverbed not a mile or two from our campsite and I swear I saw that cone on the side of the dirt road marking a spot where the road was beginning to wash away! We also took a detour to Devil's Garden along the dirt road - that was pretty cool - it's the last picture in this entry.

Then we headed to Zion National Park to go canyoneering. We had a yummy dutch oven lasagna dinner with salad and dutch oven peach cobbler for dinner that night. We were all starved because there was only 7 of us and we ate both dutch ovens full of food. Tim scored big points when he finished off the lasagna which made for 3 big helpings for him. But that lasagna turned out surprisingly well!

So Monday we headed out to go find Spry Canyon to go canyoneering through it... and we hiked and hiked and scrambled up rocky mountain-sides and scaled down them and .... all to no avail. We could night find the entrance to the canyon. We hiked around for 4 hours or so. It was beautiful country though so no one was too disappointed, but the later it got the less likely we were going to get out of the canyon and on the drive home until late that evening. So I think that was bearing on everyone's mind as well. So, in stead, we hiked back out and went into town to enjoy a meal at a Mexican restaurant and then hit the road, getting home around 10 pm.

It was a fabulous weekend! It's always great to have friends to play with and ones that are so flexible and fun!

Home Sweet Home

I went home to Boise for a short little vacation and just got back tonight. It was a much-needed respite! I don't think my mom and I slowed down until I left this morning. She obliged me to visit some of my old haunts!

Thursday:
Drove to Warren, Idaho where my old cabin is - and did so in awe at all the burned forest that was all along the dirt road leading to Warren. There was a massive forest fire 2 years ago. I was so sad to see just how much was burned.
Walked around and scouted out the changes in the ghost town.
Hiked to Bemis Rock - okay mom hiked the base, I hiked to the top.
Stopped in McCall on the way back to Boise for a delectable and much CRAVED trout dinner.

Friday:
Went on a nice long road bike ride in anticipation of all the greasy food I'd be eating that evening at the fair! Thankfully, there were no dogs to chase me this time! (All you Boiseans - riding straight out Cloverdale Road is a fabulous ride!)
Lunched with a good high school friend and her darling little 3-year old son - who is a total flirt! :)
Rode fair rides, gawked at the 213 lbs pumpkin and other fun prize-winning fair crafts, photos, flower arrangements and quilts.
Cooed at the darling sheep, goats... and the HUGE cows and horses.
Ate my body weight in grease:
Half a Corn Dog
Black Cherry Shaved Ice
One slice of Hawaiian Pizza
One Ice Cream Potato
Half of a Scone
Endured 100+ degree temperatures while at the fair!
Watched a kid on the swings ride puke and spray the crowd below (I was on a swing at the time and safely out of the spray zone)

Saturday:
Went for another road bike ride to work off the food I ate at the fair the night before
Watched my nephew - who is a sophomore on the varsity soccer team for his high school - play his first big soccer game for this coming season
Took a 2-hour nap
Made an appearance at my friend's wedding reception
Watched the James Bond Goldfinger with my sister and her family

Sunday:
Church! Of course. :)
40-minute nap
Go with my sister and her family to listen to my nephew's patriarchal blessing
Get home taught with my sister and her family
Family BBQ!!! Of huge t-bone steaks, baked potatoes, corn on the cob, green salad, mushrooms, and cake afterward.

Monday:
Breakfast with Robyn! and my mom.
Then I hit the road to come back to Utah.

It was a lot in just a few days, but it was wonderful. Wonderful to be with family, to be home (for the first time since Christmas), and to just get out of dodge!

Rednecks & the Demolition Derby

I went to my first ever demolition derby today. It was wild! It was so fun to watch all the cars run into each other and see how long they can keep moving... even with smoke coming from their engines, flat tires, tires that have fallen off, tires that are skeewampus on the hub.... and a host of other maladies! I was so obsessed with the purple car in the photos below.

I also enjoyed my own personal redneck: Dave Dean the farmer-dude. :)

Meteor Shower Gazing

Well, it was my 3rd Annual Meteor Shower Gazing and Dutch Ovening event! I always invite too many friends to feed from my dutch oven and I always miss the peak of the meteor shower by 24 hours! Oh well. We still saw quite a few good meteors.... and we also had a pretty awesome dry lightning storm to go along with the meteor shower.

The fresh peach cobbler was the hit of the night.... the caramel cake ... not so much. This time we brought along some bocci ball! That was a hit. And so was the ..... STEAM ROLLING!!!! I loooove steam rolling everyone. It was so fun. I was taught the finer tricks of steam rolling that night. So look out from now on! :)

Equation for Losing What You Didn't Want in the First Place

Keeping track of calories on livestrong.com's Daily Plate
+
Rockin' awesome spin class at the gym
+
One realistic expectation of losing weight
=
17 lbs shed since February