Peace

I am just so overwhelmed with a surge of emotions right now that I had to break tradition and write an entry on my blog during my lunch hour. Devotional today was inspiring and nostalgic. They gave away the Brigham Awards and the Circle of Honor Awards to the students that show committment to service and honor. Two of the Circle of Honor Awards are dedicated to my dear friend, Amberly Dawn Rupp. She was my dearest friend from home and passed away tragically in a car accident nearly 5 years ago. Before announcing who receives the awards dedicated to her, the University showed a film talking about her life and her dedication to honor. They showed pictures of her growing up and then a few pictures from the last few years of her life: one with me, her and an old roommate of mine at a football game and then one I took of her when she caught a fish up at Bear Lake when I took her to my dad's cabin in summer of 2000. I tear up every time I see that film and my co-workers always ask me, "Was that you in the picture?"

That experience coupled with other recent happenings has me in an uncustomary emotional state right now. But while I was driving around Provo, running some errands, I listened to a couple of Cherie Call songs. She is an LDS singer/songwriter. I don't know that I love all of her music, but these two songs (and one other) really ring true to me. I hope she doesn't mind me quoting some of her lyrics in my blog as they really moved me and gave me peace during my lunch hour today.

Holding On:

You can't keep a harvest moon, it fades away all too soon
And even the trees let go of their leaves much quicker than you'd ever choose
So many people say goodbye, I see those teardrops in their eyes
And I start to wonder how I'd live without love
And I'm glad I never have to try
Cause hardly anything lasts forever anymore
But there will always be a few things that I'm gonna keep fighting for

I'm holding on to my father's love
And my mother's faith in God above
She says "We believe in you," and "never give up your dreams."
When the whole world's letting go
I'll keep holding on

How to Move a Mountain:

When I was young I heard the stories
About the people who could make the mountains flee
And every now and then, someone would tell me
I could do the same if I believed
So one summer night, I looked out my window
And I closed my eyes and listened to the wind blow

And I tried to move a mountain
I wished for it to crumble at my feet
I tried one thing after another
but I couldn't shake a leaf

I never knew that the mountain
Had a lesson it would teach
Cause as tall as I got, I still lived in its shadow
I watched it tower over me
Till one summer day, I thought I heard it call me
So I closed my eyes and then changed into my blue jeans

And I learned how to move a mountain
It was harder than I dreamed it would be
But I set one foot down past the other
Till the mountain was under me

And I felt like I could see forever
When the truth hit my senses suddenly
This mountain wasn't nearly the first one that I'd moved
God had seen my victory
Every time I put my weaknesses behind me
And I close my eyes and let His mercy find me

I know how to move a mountain
I have to fall down on my knees
Then I get back on my feet and head on upward
Till I make it to the peak
And the mountain's under me

So that is what gives me comfort right now: knowing that there are so many out there that still love me despite my shortcomings--my parents, my sisters and their families, and many more. Those that love us are there to support us when everything seems to be collapsing around us.

And then to also know that hard things can be overcome and a lesson can be learned through them.

In director's meeting this morning, my former boss shared a thought with us that I loved:

• Be underwhelmed
• Be excited about life
• Say to yourself, "Next time . . ." not "If only . . ."
  
• Think